Most people on this forum seem like level headed people so I ask of you guys for some more advice. I am having a grief with a colleague in work ever since I had a joke with him which he took seriously. I regrettably said that he was trying to avoid playing one of the rubbish games ( I am a game tester ) by looking busy which he took offence by even though I was joking.

Ever since this happened the guy seems to be on my back and has made a few patronising comments about things I have done in work. I have to admit though he is pissing me off because I have now realised the guy is a one of those miserable people you get in the workplace always moaning about something and never smiling, although I didn't realise this when I made the joke. Now I think I have caused him to dislike me which I don't really care about to be honest.

I am off now but I want to diffuse this situation when I go back. I feel I have two options either I can just avoid frequent contact with this person keeping my conversations with him to a minimum but still be polite. The next option is that I can take him aside and apologise if I offended him that day and don't want these silly games to continue.

I have used to first option with another work colleague who was a jobs worth and it seemed to work. Can anyone give me some feedback on this?

UrbanHermit wrote:
That's what I would do, but some people are bloody minded. Probably worth a try though, and if he persists them it's best to avoid him.

What do you mean bloody minded? You mean they want revenge?

UrbanHermit wrote:
No, I mean that no matter how hard you try they will never lighten up. Some people have little or no sense of humour, and I think taking things too literally is often a sign of that.

I can't tell as I've never met this person (or you) but I suspect if you don't talk to him, he'll keep bothering you.

stab him.

^ Like your style.

Don't stab him, that would just cause him to dislike you more.

I think Sleepy is right. If you feel comfortable talking to him then I think you should try that first and if he is still being an arse, then just stay away from him.

UrbanHermit wrote:


it depends how long ago this slight on his precious ego occured? if it was not really recently, he might not remember the joke, only that for some reason he doesn't like you. if you bring up a long past specific reason it might just give him more ammo to be patronising.

on the other hand if he does remember then an apology might be all he wants. you might have meant it as a joke by if he was really offended or embarassed, he might feel he's quite justified in bitching.

you could just try ignoring all the previous greivances, on both your sides, and start afresh, but without 'announcing' it. just be open and friendly to him, don't go over the top just treat him in the manner of a colleague you do like. maybe he'll just calm down.

or. stab him

Bear wrote:


Well, yeah, if he stabbed him in the leg or something. The guy would be really pissed then. But if he did the job properly, then problem solved.

these dynamics are what makes work so fun!!??

its difficult ironing out situations with people who ever they are.

despite your efforts you might find it dont improve whatever you do.

on the other hand it might.

I would work out 1 thing you could sensible try, and do that.
Give it a go.
Give him a second chance.
Aside making an effort yourself, and giving it a go, it it doesnt make a difference then at least you will know you did the right thing that you thoought you could.

If his attitude does not improve, you could complain about attitude higher up and state you have tried.

i would think it through then do something.

putting up with shit at work is tiring, I know!